If Mamata Banerjee were a Malayalee !

The native Malayalees and then the naturalized Malayalees like me don't really appreciate our politicians and keep on criticizing them. I attended a function last night, that was graced by a couple of ministers and a handful of politicians. They came across as simple people who took in their stride, a lot of bungling by the organizers and event-managers.

While watching all the Mal-function,  I had a nightmarish idea. What would have happened if some of those maverick leaders from other states were to be Malayalees ?

The answers are at once interesting as well as scary ! My first thought was about what would have happened if Mamata Banerjee were to be a Malayalee ?

She would have been Mamadha Bannerjee and would have been called 'Chechi' !

Chechi would have banned all the cartoons and the ban would have been a 'Bann' with an additional 'n'.

All pending railway projects in Kerala would have been completed and the Edappally railway over-bridge near Amrita hospital would have become a reality long ago and not remained a welcome arch for over a decade.

The Welcome Arch of Valappally !

But Edappally would have been renamed Valappally because 'Edathu' stands for 'Left'.

As the railways minster, Chechi would have demanded Rs. 5000 Crores from the exchequer for a railway line between Kochi and Dubai.

Kochi - Dubai Railway Line

Chechi would have banned the word 'Mallu' and the movie "Mallu Singh" would have been released as "Malayalee Singh". Else the Producer and Director of the movie would have been in jail.

'Cinemala' the popular spoof program on Asianet channel would have been history. All the parody artists in Kerala would have died of starvation or joined one of the leftist unions or become naxalites.

EMS, AKG and Punnapra - Vayalar struggle would have become history from the history text books in Kerala.

'Deshabhimani' wouldn't be available in Ernakulam public library.

The Zimbly slippers would have made a killing by projecting the leader as their unofficial brand-ambassador.

Zimbly Slippers !

Kochi Traffic Police who are happy barricading all right turns would have been forced to ban all left turns in the city. Kochi, Thiruvananthapuram and all cities in Kerala would have become 'No Left Turn' cities.

Luckily she never became a defense minister. Else a Lieutenant Colonel would have become Rightinant Colonel.

If she were to be the I & B Minister, the once popular television serial "Left Right Left" would have become "Right Right Right".

Wayanad would be vying for separate state status.

Left leaning photos of Pisa tower would have been banned in Kerala.

No more Left leaning !

A lot of things would have happened if Mamata Didi were to be born a Malayalee. It isn't practical to list everything here. Thankfully, she is not a Malayalee; else most importantly, this piece wouldn't have been posted !




Dr. Punned-it